Mirror
by CSHighland
Summary: A detective’s past returns with a vengeance – can the 16 survive? Darkfic AU, AH? Warning: This fic contains themes of Violence, Murder and Rape. Be warned.
1. Chapter 1

AUTHOR NOTES: This idea leapt into my brain one day and wouldn't quit yammering until I committed it to paper. Warning: there be a crossover in here, but I can't say any more without ruining it. Big thanks to KatRose, who beta'ed this fic, and for her patience with a new author! And, thanks to KatRose, Duck, SidleSmile, Giddy and all the other fantastic authors whose work here inspired me to give writing a try.

AUTHOR NOTE 2: This fic was originally published under my other pen name, Rorybick, on the svufiction-dot-com site on July 1, 2004.

DISCLAIMER: I only wish I owned the denizens of the 1-6. Ah the fun I'd have with Elliot and the boys. sigh Alas, they belong to Mr. Wolf and his compadres. Please don't sue me for playing with them.

PROLOGUE

"Domestic dispute in progress: 2015 King Street, Apartment..." The crackling voice of the dispatcher cut off in a blast of static, but the cops knew the address. It was a weekly call from the neighbors. The mean drunk in 4-C regularly used his family as a punching bag, but the frightened wife never pressed charges. It was an all-too-typical scene in the city.

The patrol car pulled up to number 2015 with lights flashing and the cops headed into the building. As they reached the front door, a shot rang out. The partners barely glanced at one another before sprinting up the stairs to 4-C. The shooting continued. Three. Four. Five. Six shots, and then silence. As they came to a stop outside the apartment, the cops had their guns at the ready, but nothing could prepare them for what they found inside.

The apartment was trashed. Dishes and glasses were shattered, lamps were knocked over; It was a real mess. A soft, yet persistent, clicking drew them into what passed for a master bedroom in the tiny apartment. As they entered the room, they took note of the woman lying on the bed. She was naked, covered in blood and obviously dead. She had been beaten severely and bled from numerous stab wounds. It was bad, but not the worst thing in the room.

The man was half on the bed, half collapsed to the floor. His pants were down and a bloody knife was clutched in his right hand. It was the mean drunk – not that he was easily identifiable with half of his head blown away. The cops stopped and stared in horror as they finally absorbed the sight before them. A mother raped and killed, a brutal father stopped in the act, and two small boys in the midst of the madness.

It was like looking at a mirror. A matched pair of thin, pale bodies clad in boxer shorts and white tee shirts, now splattered with blood. They had sandy hair, not quite blond or brown, but the indefinable shade that only children under the age of 8 can achieve. Their big blue eyes filled bruised faces, like a macabre parody of a cutesy cartoon. Those eyes... That's where the mirror shifted, changed. One set of blue eyes was full of fear and pain, brimming with tears and near-hysteria. The other eyes were like ice: no sign of pain or life, just a dead hatred that was shocking in the tiny face. The cold gaze remained on his father as he continued pulling the trigger of the gun. Click. Click. Click. Click.

CHAPTER 1

STABLER RESIDENCE  
MONDAY, JUNE 10TH  
EARLY MORNING

_Screaming... blood... fear..._ With a start, Detective Elliot Stabler sat up in bed, his sheets soaked in a cold sweat. 4:30 a.m. "Why the hell'd I pick SVU? I coulda been a traffic cop." He sighed and rolled out of bed. "No sense trying to get back to sleep now, I might as well get some coffee." He stumbled down the hall to the apartment's cramped kitchen and started the coffeemaker before collapsing into a chair at the tiny dinette table. Things weren't going so well since the separation. It was eight months since Kathy left him for another man – a doctor, no less. Eight months in this rat-hole of an apartment, seeing his kids every other weekend if his schedule permitted. Eight months of arguments and legal wrangling as the Separation Agreement took force. Eight months of solitude and his nightmares kept getting worse.

"At least I've still got work." Despite the oppressive inhumanity of the crimes that crossed his desk day in and day out, Elliot found solace in the work: the methodical investigating, the unchanging routines of the law and, of course, the camaraderie of his fellow officers. He didn't know what he would do without them. Fin and Munch, with their tough-guy exteriors and snarky banter, hiding their true emotions but always available to him in times of need. They were his coworkers, his friends, his brothers. Captain Cragen, stalwart and steady, a hard-ass with a heart of gold and as much of a father figure to Elliot as Jack Stabler ever was. And then there was Olivia.

God, Olivia. Elliot closed his eyes and thanked the heavens that Olivia Benson was in his life. Since the first day she walked into the 1-6, he knew she was special. Tough but fragile, she faced the city's worst with him and survived. On case after case, he watched her heart break in empathy for the vics, but she always held it together and fought that much harder for justice. She was his partner, his best friend, his reason to go to work each day. She inspired him. Sighing, he thought, "I've got to get out of this place." He threw on his sweats and headed out for an early-morning run until it was a reasonable hour to show up at the station.

16TH PRECINCT  
6:45 A.M.

"Elliot? Are you okay?" Captain Cragen's quiet baritone cut into Elliot's brooding. "You look like hell, and this is the fifth time this month you've been first in. Are you even going home at night?"

"Yeah, Cap'n. I am. I just haven't been sleeping really well. No biggie."

"Normally, I trust your judgment, El, but I'm worried about you. If you need some time off..." he trailed off.

"No! I can handle it. It's not a problem."

Cragen sighed. Elliot Stabler was one of his best cops, but he had a dark streak that had gotten much worse since Kathy left him. Oh, who was he kidding? There wasn't one cop in the unit who wasn't damaged in some way, himself included. It's what made them so successful at solving the city's worst crimes but it made his job as captain that much harder. He had to constantly monitor his team to make sure none of them went over the edge. Looked like Elliot would be under the microscope for a while. "All right, Elliot. Just remember, my door's always open and my offer stands."

"Thanks, Cap. I'll be fine."

7:00 P.M.

"That's it for tonight. I can't look at this paperwork one more minute," Olivia said, shoving her chair back from the desk. She stood and stretched. "Elliot, you coming?"

"Nah. I'm going to finish the Docherty file, maybe get a jump on the files for that peeper on the east side."

Olivia frowned at him. "No way, buddy. You're done. Look, I know things have been tough for you this year, but you can't keep this up. I've been watching you try to escape your problems in case files and paperwork and it isn't working. You are the walking dead, El. You aren't taking care of yourself and you sure as hell aren't helping me!"

"What! Olivia..."

She walked over and sat on the edge of his desk. "Elliot, listen to me. I need my partner back. Whatever is wrong with you is affecting our work. You won't talk to me. I have to sit here every day and watch you suffer and I can't do a thing about it! I won't have it." She paused, and then cupped his chin and lifted his face so their eyes met. "I need you to be 100. I need to know that you've got my back; that you are there for me. And I need you to let me be there for you, too. So close the damn file and come on. We're going back to my place. You WILL have a good dinner and you WILL have a restful evening away from the station. Understand?" She stood, hands on her hips and tried to give him her fiercest glare.

"Yes, Mom," Elliot replied, getting up and closing the files spread across his desk. "You know, I'd be more afraid of you if I believed that glare."

He smirked at her with a hint of merriment in his blue eyes, she noted with a grin. "Shut up, Stabler. Let's go."

BENSON RESIDENCE  
7:30 P.M.

Olivia sat across the table from Elliot, watching him as he finished his dinner. "Well?"

He paused with his fork halfway to his mouth "Well, what? It's pretty good. I didn't know you cooked this well."

"It's only spaghetti, but that's not what I meant. I meant, 'well, when are you going to talk to me?'"

Elliot sighed and set his fork down. He knew when he agreed to have dinner that it was only a matter of time until she'd start the interrogation. "Liv, I know I haven't been at the top of my game and I've been shutting you out. I'm sorry. It's been a bigger adjustment than I thought it would be, you know? I haven't been truly alone in over 20 years, between Kathy and the kids. I always shielded them from my work, but I never realized what a comfort it was just having them there. I guess I'm just not dealing really well with coming home to an empty apartment every night. And with the kids on vacation with Kathy this month, I don't even have every other weekend to look forward to. Besides, I...," he paused, looked away from her and ran his hand through his hair self-consciously. "I've never told anyone this, but I have nightmares, bad ones. Since the separation, they've gotten worse. I guess the old subconscious realizes that I won't worry anyone when I wake up screaming these days," he finished with a short, bitter laugh. "So, I'm just not sleeping well."

"Not sleeping well? Elliot, it sounds like you aren't sleeping at all. I know it's rough, but I am here for you, okay? You can talk to me any time, day or night. You know that. Just call me. I'll be here." She got up and began to clear the table. "It's obvious that spending all that time alone at your place is not good for you, so here's the deal. I know what it's like to be lonely. In our line of work, solitude is bad. It gives your brain too long to think about what we see each day. Frankly, neither one of us needs that." She turned back to him with a wry grin. "So, from now on, partner, we hang out. Do dinner. Spend quality time with each other and the guys, even if I have to drag you out by your ears. I'm not going to let you wallow any longer and I'm not going to let you shut me out. Got it?"

Elliot felt relieved. He hated showing his weaknesses to Olivia but she didn't see the nightmares that way. She accepted them as normal and a part of him. He smiled, "Got it. No wallowing allowed."

"Good. Tomorrow night, we do dinner at your place... and maybe rent a DVD or something. Now get your lazy butt over here and wash the dishes. I did all the cooking." She grinned at him and he returned the grin. Maybe things would get better.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

16TH PRECINCT  
TUESDAY, JUNE 11TH  
9:00 A.M.

Cragen walked out of his office to find his team sharing coffee and teasing insults – another typical day. He noticed that Elliot seemed a little more like himself lately and made a mental note to ask Olivia if she'd finally gotten him to talk things through. "All right, children. Settle down. Fin, Munch, I've got an ugly one for you. Sacred Heart Home for Children."

Cragen caught the look on his detectives' faces. "No, nothing happened to the kids, but that doesn't make it any easier. We've got two nuns murdered and a third raped and left for dead. Like I said, it's a really ugly scene. CSU and the local uniforms are already there. Get down there and see what you can find out. Take Huang, if he's available. I want to nail this psycho."

"Elliot, Olivia, there's a couple of new leads on your Eastside Peeping Tom to run down later, but I want you over at the hospital now. The sister who survived was taken to Mercy. So get there sooner, not later."

MERCY HOSPITAL  
11:00 A.M.

"Detectives? Sister Mary Katherine made it through her surgery. She's in her room and starting to come to, if you'd like to talk with her now," the surgeon paused, fixing Elliot and Olivia with a stern look. "I know how important it is for you to get her statement quickly, but she very nearly died. Her body is still in a state of shock and exciting her or upsetting her could be very dangerous. Kid gloves, okay? Get what you need to catch this monster, but do it gently." The surgeon directed Olivia to room 1273. Elliot stayed behind to get the complete medical report, and to allow his partner to establish a rapport with the victim first.

Olivia knocked softly on the door, before stepping inside. "Sister Mary Katherine? I'm Detective Benson with the Special Victims Unit. Do you feel up to talking?" The battered figure on the bed nodded hesitantly, and Olivia sat down next to the bed. "Can you remember anything about the attack? Start at the beginning, but take your time. It's okay," she said in her most soothing voice.

"I woke up early, to check on one of the children who was sick last night. I was walking towards the children's dormitories when I heard something strange coming from one of the storage rooms. I heard voices, then a struggle. I opened the door and saw Mother Superior falling to the floor. There was blood everywhere and then I saw him." Her eyes widened in shock. "No! Sweet Jesus, NO! IT'S HIM! HIM!" The nun began scrambling back in her bed to escape, dislodging her IVs and disturbing her freshly stitched wounds. Her panicked eyes never left the doorway.

As the young nun's hysteria rose to a fevered pitch, Olivia whirled to face the door and saw Elliot standing in the doorframe, dumbfounded. He quickly stepped out of the room as a barrage of nurses filled the room to calm their now-sobbing patient and to treat her fresh bleeding. The surgeon ran over to Elliot, demanding to know what happened.

"I have no idea, Doc. I was just about to enter the room and she lost it. I mean, sometimes that happens with rape victims, they can't be around men without freaking out. I'm really sorry."

Olivia joined them in the hallway, explaining, "They've sedated her again and re-bandaged the worst of her wounds. Doctor, why didn't you warn us that she was too traumatized to see my partner?"

"Warn you? Detectives, Sister Mary Katherine has been surrounded by male doctors and uniformed cops since she came in this morning. That's the first time she's reacted like that to ANYONE!"

SACRED HEART HOME FOR CHILDREN  
11:30 A.M.

Detective Munch was not a particularly religious man, and definitely not Catholic, but what he had seen this morning truly turned his stomach. Whether you are religious or not, there just always seemed to be something sacred and untouchable about a nun. Apparently the perp didn't feel the same. He turned away from the savaged body of Sister Mary Elizabeth and stepped out of the Home's main administrative offices. He crossed the corridor to where Dr. Huang was comparing notes with one of the CSU techs. "So, Doc," Munch interrupted, "you got a feel for this guy or what?"

"John, I've examined both murder scenes. Each shows signs of extreme aggression on the part of the perp..."

Munch interrupted, "Really, Doc? Extreme aggression, huh? And here I thought our psycho just tripped and fell knife-first onto them about 30 or 40 times." He raised an eyebrow at the psychologist's obvious observation.

"May I continue, Detective? As I was saying, they show signs of extreme aggression but it appears planned. Controlled. Organized. We aren't talking about a psychopath here, but a sociopath. He's smart, too smart. He harbors a real grudge against nuns or religious figures in general. And, he obviously wanted something from them. There are no signs that this was random. He came to this specific place and killed these specific nuns for a reason. I just don't know the 'why' yet."

"Information," Fin said, joining the group as Dr. Huang finished his description. "I just spent some time with one of the administrative assistants that works here. Turns out the storage room where Mother Superior was sliced is where they keep their old adoption records and case files from pre-computer days. She told me the entire room is neatly lined with boxes of these files. Only it isn't anymore. When I was in there checking out the vic, I saw a bunch of boxes pulled from the shelves. After talking with the assistant, I went back and re-checked. Sure enough, the late 60s and early 70s were all stacked on the floor. 68 is missing entirely. Our perp's looking for someone that used to live here."

Munch pondered Fin's new information briefly before asking, "So he kills Sister Mary Elizabeth to find out where the files are kept and kills the Mother Superior after she helps him find the right one? Okay, that tracks. So what about Sister Mary Katherine?"

Dr. Huang replied, "The younger nun? She's another story. The MO with her was different. She wasn't part of the plan. She must have just wandered by after he killed the Mother Superior. He already had the information he came for and he could have let her go, but he took the time to play a while. Guys, I'm afraid Sister Mary Katherine was just for fun."

He kept to the edges, blending into the background business of the bustling crime scene. A few of the uniformed cops nodded their hellos, and he resisted the urge to slice them open and play in their entrails. With a smile that he hoped was convincing, he returned their nods and moved on toward where he'd offed the senior nun. As he approached, he saw the detectives, deep in conversation, and he quickly turned to exchange mock pleasantries with a passing CSU tech. He couldn't get caught now, and the detectives were too quick to notice changes. He heard the Asian man's description of the younger nun as "just for fun" and a smirk played around the corners of his mouth. Fun didn't describe the rush he got from having that fine piece. He lingered another moment, savoring his memories, then swiftly departed before any of the detectives noticed him or his renewed arousal.

STABLER RESIDENCE  
9:45 P.M.

Despite the gruesome details of their new case, Elliot wasn't feeling too terrible. He had kept busy all day, and Olivia lived up to her threat, er, promise and had showed up at his place with a bottle of wine and a DVD. They'd worked together on a quick meal and settled in on the couch to watch the movie. He picked up the DVD case. "Aw, Liv. Are you kidding me? _Miss Congeniality_ again?"

"You need to laugh and it's funny. Besides, you always want an action flick." She kicked off her shoes and snuggled in to 'her' corner of the couch. "This one's got action and fun."

"Uh-huh. And I suppose the FBI agent in the Speedo has nothing to do with how much you like this film," he smirked at her.

Olivia feigned innocence, "What? There's a Speedo in this film? I had NO idea." He laughed and she grinned at him. "Besides, what's one little Speedo compared to an entire swimsuit competition?"

"All right, all right. You win. Put it on."

Sometime later, a laughing Elliot turned off the DVD player and gathered up the empty wineglasses. "Thanks, Olivia. I really appreciate you giving up your evenings the last couple of nights. It really has helped. I guess I just needed to reconnect with someone."

"Hey, partner, don't get all sappy on me now," Olivia grinned. "You aren't the only one tired of eating take-out for one. Besides, I had nothing better to do."

"Thanks a lot." 

"Don't mention it." Olivia slipped her shoes on and walked over to him. Resting her hand briefly on his forearm, she said, "For real, Elliot, this has been fun. Wanna do it again tomorrow?"

Their shared smile confirmed the date. 

He stood in the shadows, watching and waiting for his target to appear. Across the street, the front door of the apartment building opened and his pulse quickened. _There._ As he watched, a man wrapped a stunning brunette into a tight embrace. He released her and stepped back inside as she started down the street. _Interesting._ This was going to be a hell of a lot more fun than anticipated. An evil smile spread across his face as he quickly revised his game plan to include this new player. He stepped from the shadows and put his plan into action.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

STABLER RESIDENCE  
FRIDAY, JUNE 14TH  
4:45 A.M.

_Screaming... blood... fear..._ Elliot bolted upright and then groaned as he caught sight of his alarm clock. "This is getting ridiculous," he muttered before heaving out of bed and heading into the bathroom. Both hands gripped the cool porcelain of the sink while he gazed into the mirror with bloodshot eyes. Hell looked better. He washed his face and quickly shaved. He still looked terrible, but it was an improvement. Back in his bedroom, he was chagrined to note that it still wasn't quite 5 a.m. "Can't sleep. Can't work. Nothing better to do than run," he mused, pulling his sweats on. "On the bright side, at least these nightmares are keeping me in shape." A bitter grin creased his face as he tied his laces and left the apartment at a brisk pace. 

He watched the man run down the street towards the park. He waited until he was just out of sight before sauntering into the building. He scanned the mailboxes and headed up the stairs. Stopping before the correct one, he casually looked up and down the hall, then bent down to quickly pick the lock. _Tsk, tsk. Sloppy. He didn't even set the deadbolt._ Stepping into the cluttered apartment, he smiled. This was just too easy.

7:30 A.M.

Elliot jogged up to the front of his building just as Olivia turned away from the door. "Liv! What are you doing here?" he gasped, coming to a halt at her side.

"Morning, Elliot. I come bearing gifts of high-quality caffeine." She held up the two large Starbucks cups, one per hand, to emphasize her words. "I got an early start and decided to surprise you by buying today..." She raised one eyebrow at his sweaty, disheveled state. "But apparently I'm not the only one who got an early start. Please tell me you're planning to shower before coming in. You stink!" She made an exaggerated face, causing him to laugh out loud.

"Thanks a lot, partner. Hey, I've got bagels upstairs. They'll taste wonderful with free coffee," he teased. "Care to join me?"

"Sure, but don't be all day primping for work. I don't want to be late because you decided to run a marathon this morning."

Laughing, they ascended the stairs to Elliot's apartment. He quickly unlocked the door and held it open for his partner. "I'll be right back. You know where the kitchen is. Bagels are in the breadbox. Cream cheese is in the fridge."

She quickly sliced and toasted two bagels, giving each a thick smear of cream cheese. Setting his on a napkin on the counter, she munched on hers while wandering around the living room. She smiled as she heard him humming in the shower. When the water stopped, she called down the hall, "Elliot, bagel's waiting, just how you like it."

A few short minutes later, Elliot appeared, still drying his hair with a thick towel. He was barefoot, wearing just his suit pants and an undershirt. Olivia smiled appreciatively and pointed him towards the cooling bagel in the kitchen. "Eat up. Can't be late." He grinned, took a huge bite of bagel and waggled his eyebrows at her.

"You pig!" she laughed. "Hey, what happened to Kathleen's senior picture? The one in the silver frame? You shouldn't put it away, she looks beautiful in it."

He quickly joined her in the living room, frowning. "I didn't do anything with it. It was right here this morn... This isn't right, Liv." He slowly turned and took mental inventory of his living room. "This isn't right at all. I had a picture of Maureen on that wall and a picture of the twins at the beach over there. Kathleen's senior portrait was right here, and the photo Cragen took of us at the Christmas party last year was on that table. Liv, don't touch anything. Someone's been in here since this morning."

Olivia took out her phone and quickly dialed, "Captain? Olivia. We need a CSU team over at Elliot's place. Things are missing, no sign of forced entry. Oh, and Captain? We're gonna be late."

16TH PRECINCT  
11:30 A.M.

Captain Cragen was sitting on the corner of Elliot and Olivia's shared desk as they walked in to the squad room. "Olivia. Elliot. Everything all right now?" 

"Seems to be. Nothing of monetary value is missing, just four framed photos from the living room and some clothing from the bedroom. No sign of forced entry, but the lock looks like it was tampered with. CSU guys printed the whole place. We'll hear soon if any prints are found that don't belong there," Olivia shrugged. "It's pretty creepy. Who'd take a bunch of family pictures and leave the TV and DVD player?" She shook her head. "Well, the good news is that Mr. Macho here promised to always use the deadbolt from now on. A day late and a dollar short if you ask me."

Cragen looked over to Elliot, "So you're all right?"

"Yeah, Cap. I think so. I feel stupid and I want my pictures back, but no real harm done... I guess."

"Good, because Fin and Munch are out following up on the Sacred Heart case, so you two get to catch the new call." He picked up the folder resting next to him on the desk. "Vic is a white female, late teens, maybe early 20s. Beaten, raped, killed. Body found in an alley near Hudson U by a couple of uniforms. The address is inside. Get to it." He handed the folder to Olivia and headed back into his office.

"Duty calls," Elliot sighed and headed back out with his partner.

HUDSON UNIVERSITY APARTMENTS  
12:00 NOON

They worked their way through the sea of onlookers, badges drawn to silence any protests from the morbidly curious crowd. They approached the uniformed officer guarding the police tape barrier. Olivia flashed her badge with a terse, "Detectives Benson and Stabler, SVU." Quickly glancing at their shields, the officer let them through. Elliot went over to review the scene before the ME took the vic away, while Olivia approached the officer in charge, "Benson, SVU. What do we have?"

"White female, approximately 18. As best as we can tell, he jumped her coming out of the building here, beat her into submission, raped her repeatedly and then used his knife on her. A lot. Perp was a real psycho. Didn't leave us much to ID her by, but the cops found a photo with her belongings. We assume it's of her..." The officer trailed off as an anguished scream interrupted them.

"Elliot?" Olivia whirled towards the sound, and saw her now-sobbing partner sink to his knees beside the vic. She ran over to him. "Elliot! What's wrong? What..." she stopped as she caught sight of the victim's long blonde hair and slight form, mutilated almost beyond recognition, and then noticed the shiny silver frame sitting amongst the girl's belongings.

"Oh, Elliot," she reached down and pulled him into an embrace. "Shhh. Elliot. It isn't her. It can't be her. You told me yourself, she's in the Caribbean with Kathy and the other kids. Elliot, Kathleen is okay." She helped him to his feet and walked him out of sight of the body. "El, I'll straighten things out here. You call Kathleen and see for yourself. Your daughter is fine."

She gave him a quick hug and then hurried over to the CSU team. "Bag that picture frame and make sure to dust for prints. It's not the vic, but it is evidence nonetheless. Of this, and at least one other crime."

16TH PRECINCT  
2:15 P.M.

After the shock of seeing a vic Elliot believed to be Kathleen, he had taken Olivia's advice and called the emergency number Kathy gave him when she took the kids for a month at a tropical resort. He felt better hearing that all four of his children were healthy and having fun – even if he did have to hear it from his ex-wife's new steady. Dr. Ron had smugly informed him that 'Katherine and the girls were down at the spa, wrapped in mud' and that he was on his way to meet 'Richard' for a jet-ski lesson. Elliot had simply asked him to tell the kids that he loved them and disconnected. Now, back at the station, Elliot slumped at his desk, staring at a photo of his kids, while Olivia briefed the Captain in his office.

Olivia recounted the events of the afternoon at the crime scene and explained the tie between Elliot's break-in and their vic. Cragen's fatherly eyes grew concerned when she told him about Elliot's reaction to the vic and Kathleen's picture. "Olivia, you know him better than any of us. Do I need to pull Elliot from the streets for a while?"

She gave the Captain's inquiry several moments of serious thought before answering, "No. I know he's been out of sorts for a while now, but he's tough. He'll be all right – I'll make sure of it."

They exited his office together, pausing at the sight of Elliot's forlorn shape hunched over a family picture. Cragen cleared his throat. "Okay, you two. Get out of here. I don't want to see either of you until Monday morning." He lowered his voice, for Olivia's ears only. "Take care of him, Benson. He needs a friend right now."

MEDICAL EXAMINER'S OFFICE  
3:38 P.M.

Detectives Munch and Fin paced around the ME's office, waiting for her to finish on the telephone. It had only been three days since they first caught the Sacred Heart case, but they were anxious to find the psycho and put him out of commission. After an eternity of pacing, or eight minutes after their arrival, Dr. Warner finally hung up the phone and turned to the two detectives with a worried look on her face. "Gentlemen. We have a problem."

"A problem? You mean the DNA from Sister Mary Katherine was inconclusive? Why are we just hearing about his now?" Munch looked at the ME incredulously.

"No, Detective. The DNA from Sister Mary Katherine was just fine. We got a hit in the database."

Fin could see his partner losing patience with the ME and felt the same way. He practically growled, "So, what's the problem, Doc?"

Dr. Warner looked warily from one to the other before answering. "When I said we had a hit in the database, I didn't mean VICAP or NY Corrections. I meant our own database. The man responsible for the Sacred Heart murders and rape is a cop." She gazed steadily at them both before throwing her open file down on the desk in front of them and turning to look out the window. "One we all know."

Fin looked at the name on the DNA results and sank bonelessly into a chair. "No," he whispered. "No, it can't be."

Munch was now holding the offending document in a white-knuckled grip. As the paper crumpled in his hands and the doctor turned back to meet his glower, he managed only two words, "You're wrong."


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

BENSON RESIDENCE  
SATURDAY, JUNE 15TH  
4:00 A.M.

_Screaming... blood... fear..._ Elliot thrashed around on the couch, twisting the sheet around him in an effort to escape. He cried out in his sleep, so thoroughly immersed in the dream that he was unaware of the cool hand softly stroking his feverish brow.

"Elliot? Elliot, wake up. Shh. It's okay, El. I've got you, you're safe. Let it go, Elliot. Come back to me, wake up." Olivia continued soothing her partner, trying to wake him as gently as possible. Elliot had told her about his nightmares, but this weekend was the first time she'd witnessed them firsthand. 

After Cragen had ended their Friday early, she drove Elliot to his apartment to pick up some things and then brought him back to her place. She didn't think he should be alone this weekend, especially not in an unsecured apartment. Besides, his place was still officially a crime scene and she knew that he would get no rest for worrying about his girls and the case. Still, it was strangely intimate having him here. They were best friends and partners, but sleepovers were simply not a part of the Elliot/Olivia dynamic, especially not since his separation and pending divorce. True, they'd crashed in the crib at the same time before – that was a part of the job. Hell, in the crib, she'd literally slept with every one of her coworkers at one time or another. This was somehow different. Even with him on the couch.

Her heart ached for her partner, watching his obvious fear and anguish, unable to help in any way other than her soft words. She continued her whisperings and soft touches until the thrashing slowed and his breathing deepened into an even rhythm. The nightmare passed, and Olivia hoped it would not return this evening. "Good night, Elliot. Have pleasant dreams," she breathed, pressing a kiss to his forehead and suddenly pulling back. She quickly returned to her own room, wondering at the instinct that had suddenly possessed her.

CENTRAL PARK, DELACORTE THEATER  
SUNDAY, JUNE 16TH  
11:30 P.M.

Elliot stood up slowly and stretched, before reaching down to help Olivia to her feet. "Thank you, Liv. I've lived in New York my entire life, less a few years in the Corps, but I've never been to Shakespeare in the Park until now. Shakespeare is not normally my speed, but I had fun."

"Yeah, well, I think we both needed a break from the apartment and our crazy lives. Besides, how often can you see Kevin Kline and Natalie Portman do _Hamlet_ for free?" She bent to pick up their blanket and began folding it. "I love that play. At Siena, my thesis was on its themes of family betrayal and revenge. It's one of my favorites."

"It was good, but I prefer the comedies...if I'm forced to watch Shakespeare, that is." He flashed the patented Stabler grin that was guaranteed to make Liv laugh. As usual, it succeeded. "C'mon, let go." He took the blanket from her and draped it over one arm, extending the other to her in an exaggeratedly gallant fashion. "M'lady?" Still laughing, she linked her arm in his and they started off towards home, neither aware of the person silently stalking them through the shadows, planning his next surprise.

16TH PRECINCT  
MONDAY, JUNE 17TH  
9:15 A.M.

Cragen stood in the doorway to his office and looked out at his detectives. What a great Monday, he thought sarcastically. Elliot was still in a funk, though much improved since Friday's shock. Olivia was still trying to keep him together, Munch seemed mad at the world and what the hell was wrong with Fin? He was staring at Elliot, expression dancing from disgust to pity to anger to worry. Topping it off, they were going nowhere fast with the Sacred Heart murders and their other cases were piling up.

With a sigh, he stepped out into the bullpen. "Listen up, guys. We are getting swamped here, so we're splitting up a bit today. John and Fin, you two stay on the Sacred Heart case. ME called and said she's got more info for you. Head there first, then see if you can't re-visit Sister Mary Katherine now that she's recovering better. Olivia, we just got a call from the 2-5 about a double homicide in the park. Don't have a lot of details yet, just that it's an SVU-special. There are a lot of uniforms on scene, so you aren't going solo into a hotspot. Get down there and see what we've got, then I want you following up on the Hudson U case. Elliot, we've got a backlog. I need you to run down those leads on the peeper case and get some of these other cases cleared through here. Okay, gang, hit it."

Elliot looked at Liv, then the other two detectives, pausing only slightly at the strange look he was getting from Fin. Shaking his head, he stood and walked over to Cragen. "Captain, if this is about Friday, I want you to know, I'm okay now. I don't need to be on ass duty, I'm fine to do my job."

"I know that, Elliot. That's why you aren't on ass duty. You know I have to pull you from the Hudson case because your break-in is related. I don't need three of you on Sacred Heart at this point – besides, we are legitimately backed up. I pulled you from your peeper to help on Sacred Heart. Now, I'm putting you back. All right?"

Elliot's face tightened, but he nodded his agreement and headed out to catch a Peeping Tom.

CENTRAL PARK  
9:45 A.M.

Passing the onlookers and uniforms on the perimeter, Olivia strode up to the chief investigator from the 2-5. "Benson, SVU. What've we got?"

"Two victims, one male, one female, both white. In early puberty, at most 13, 14 years old. After he was finished with them, the perp cut them both up something fierce. Gonna have a hard time IDing them. Could be a date gone horribly wrong, but they seem kind of young to be dating. But, who knows with kids these days? So, what do you think?"

As the man talked, Olivia had pulled latex gloves on and squatted down to look at the vics. The girl was sprawled out on her back; the boy, beside her on his stomach. The perp had arranged them so they appeared to be holding hands. Olivia noticed a corner of wood sticking out from under the boy's ribcage. She reached out and pulled a framed photo from under the boy. Looking down at the familiar faces grinning at her from the shore, she finally answered the cop who was patiently waiting. "Definitely not a date. They're siblings. Probably twins. We've got this case."

She stood, handing the picture to a CSU tech waiting to bag the evidence. Turning her back on the 2-5 cop, she whipped out her cell phone and pressed a key. "It's Olivia. We've got another one."

MEDICAL EXAMINER'S OFFICE  
10:00 A.M.

The case was getting more and more confusing. John Munch was an intelligent man – some thought too intelligent for police work – but this case was a real stumper. Murdered and raped nuns, DNA evidence that he simply would not believe to be accurate and now she's telling us the DNA also matches the Hudson U killing?

"...didn't even hit a three-point match. I can't explain it," the doctor concluded.

"I'm sorry. What was that last part?" Munch shook himself out of his reverie and focused on the ME.

"I said, after the Hudson fluids matched the DNA from Sacred Heart, I checked all the fingerprints again. I came up with some latents at the Hudson scene that I'm certain are the killer's so I ran them against the prints we have on file. They aren't even a three-point match. It makes no sense, because DNA doesn't lie." Warner shrugged, before turning to answer a technical question for Fin.

As Munch stood, listening to his partner review the bombshell findings with Dr. Warner, his phone rang. "Munch. Uh-huh. Yeah, well we've got some news for you, too. I need to come with you. Uh-huh. Good, I'll meet you out front." He hung up and looked over into the expectant gazes of Fin and Warner. "That was the captain. The Hudson U killer struck again. Double rape/homicide in the park this time. Cragen's picking me up, I'll fill him in and then we're meeting Olivia at the new scene. Fin, you're supposed to finish up here and then go interview Sister Mary Katherine again. You take the sedan." 

Munch threw the keys over to Fin and headed out, running the facts of the various crimes over and over in his brain. The case was getting more and more confusing.

A few minutes later, Cragen pulled the police-issue sedan up to the curb, and Munch quickly got in. As the captain began navigating his way back into traffic, he inquired of his detective, "So what's so important that you needed to tag along on Benson's case instead of working your own?"

"Actually, Captain, I am working my case. That's part of the news. Warner says the DNA from Sister Mary Katherine is an exact match for the DNA from the Hudson U case. Same scumbag. But, there are some fingerprints that don't match the perp and..." Munch trailed off, uncomfortably.

"Wait, how do you know the fingerprints don't match? We know who this guy is? Why aren't we picking him up?"

"Well, Captain, that's complicated..." Munch began. He proceeded to fill Cragen in on all of the ME's findings, including the identity of the DNA and the contradictory fingerprints.

While Munch spoke, Cragen's jaw tightened, as did his grip on the steering wheel. Pulling up to the scene at Central Park, he finally spoke, "We have to nail this psycho. You and Fin are on it, full time. And, John? We tell her the cases are related, but not a word of the rest to Olivia."


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

STABLER RESIDENCE  
TUESDAY, JUNE 18TH  
3:04 A.M.

_Screaming... blood... fear..._ An anguished wail woke Elliot and he leapt out of bed to investigate before realizing that he had yelled in his sleep. The nightmare never relented, never gave up, never changed. Well, that wasn't true. Since this latest case hit, he'd been seeing Kathleen and Lizzie in the dream, sliced open with methodical glee. Dickie, beaten and screaming. Maureen, tied down and violated, over and over. He reached up to scrub the sleep from his eyes and was shocked to feel fat tears sliding down his stubbled cheeks. "I can't stay here."

BENSON RESIDENCE  
3:25 A.M.

The cell phone was ringing. Olivia rolled over and answered it blearily, "Hello?"

"Liv, it's me."

"Elliot. What's wrong? What happened?"

"I just, I need you. The nightmares are back and I can't sleep in that place, alone."

"Yeah, okay. I'll be right over."

"Um, not necessary. Let me in?"

She walked out of her bedroom and looked through the peephole at her crying partner, standing in the hallway. She hung up the phone, opened the door and drew him into a hug.

McNAMARA'S PUB  
7:30 P.M.

Elliot was pissed. For two days, he'd flown solo, tracking down dead leads on old cases and pushing papers around his desk. The Eastside Peeper was picked up by the 3-6 for attempted burglary. A neighbor saw him hiding in the bushes and assumed he was looking for a way in, not just looking in. A boring ending for a boring case, and he was still out of the field. With a sharp gesture, he summoned the bartender, who appeared with a cold longneck and cleared Elliot's empties.

"I thought I'd find you here." 

Olivia's voice came from behind him, and he answered without turning. "Yeah, well it's not like I'd be out on a case or anything. Damn it, Liv, I'm sick of this shut-out."

"Elliot, there are reasons..." Olivia sighed, knowing her explanation wasn't going to be easy. "C'mon, let's sit at a table, get some food and talk. Believe me, I don't like this anymore than you do." With a couple of tugs on his shirt, she got him away from the bar and safely ensconced in a booth near the back of the pub. After ordering a beer for herself and a couple of burgers, Olivia continued. "Look, no one wants to shut you out of things, but Cragen's just looking out for you. That's why it's Fin and Munch's case. I know you've heard rumors, so have I. Here's what I can confirm. Sacred Heart and Hudson U were done by the same guy. There was DNA and other forensic evidence at both scenes, but Cragen is keeping a tight lid on it. Yesterday's Central Park case was the same perp. Forensics aren't back yet, but I'm certain." She trailed off and reached over to grab his hand. "El, another one of your missing pictures was at the scene."

"Central Park? That was a double homicide. Oh, God. The twins?"

"Vics were both around 13, one male, one female. They'd been...well, they both got the same treatment as our Hudson vic. Elliot, I was there. It wasn't pretty. Someone is fixated on you – that's why Cragen has you playing paper jockey. Just be patient a little longer and we'll be back in the streets together, all right?"

He ground out, "Fine," as the waitress returned with their dinner.

"Great. Now let's eat. These burgers look fantastic."

He sat in a secluded corner of the bar, his eyes on his target. It had been delicious fun watching him wallow in his anger, trying to drink away his worries. Now, he observed the interaction between him and the gorgeous woman trying to tease him out of his mood over burgers and beer. As he watched, she lifted a longneck to her lush lips and took a long swallow. It was incredibly sexy, yet the man across from her barely noticed her actions.

_Pathetic bastard,_ he thought, shaking his head. The plan was fully in motion. He took one last look at the couple in the back booth before pulling his cap down low over his eyes and slipping out. _Soon it'll be your turn. Very soon._

16TH PRECINCT  
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 19TH   
9:00 A.M.

Olivia and Elliot walked into the station together after meeting for breakfast at the corner deli. They had seen Fin and Munch rush out of the building as they approached, so they were not too surprised when Cragen called them into his office as soon as they walked in.

"Olivia, Elliot. Sit down. There's been another. Blonde, female, roughly 20, same MO. Again, a picture found with the body. Based on the last two, I'm guessing Maureen this time. El, I'm sorry. Some nut job is after you for some reason. Fin and Munch are officially on the case, but I want you in here all day." At their groans, he gave a halfhearted grin. "I know you hate desk duty, but we need you to review your past cases. Try to figure out who's doing this and why. Olivia, you get to help him. Sorry guys, but I can't have my best detectives out in the line of fire for some obsessed freak. He may be killing by proxy right now, but I want you safe if he decides to go after the real thing."

McNAMARA'S PUB  
10:30 A.M.

Fin helped CSU bag the last bit of evidence – a framed picture of Maureen Stabler – before turning back to his partner. "John, you got anything new?"

Munch watched the ME's assistants loading the girl's body into their van before answering, "Not really..."

"Sounds like a 'but' is coming up."

"...but there is something that just bothers me about the whole thing. The nuns. We know they were done by the same perp. Why them? How do they fit in? Huang said they were deliberate. If so, where does Elliot's family come in to it?"

"Elliot's Catholic. These nuns know his family from school or something?"

"Possible but not likely. The Stabler kids go to Holy Family over in Queens." At Fin's look, he added, "Just like Elliot did. You know, we do talk sometimes, share information about our personal lives..."

Fin paced back and forth a few minutes before stopping suddenly. "Information! That's it. The first two nuns were killed for information about an adoption, remember? We need to see who was adopted out of Sacred Heart in 68! My money says that info is the key to this whole thing. Besides Sacred Heart, where else would those records be?"

Munch looked at his partner with new respect. "Albany – State Records Division. C'mon, we have some phone calls to make!"

16TH PRECINCT  
6:30 P.M.

Cragen watched Olivia and Elliot poring over stacks of files, disappointment and aggravation evident in their every motion. There was nothing in any of their recent and not-so-recent files that matched the MO of these killings, nor was there any evidence in the files of a hump with a grudge. When Elliot slammed the file cabinet closed with a growl, his frustration was keenly felt by all of them. The captain spoke up, "Okay, guys. Call it a night. We'll pick up here tomorrow. Maybe by then, Munch and Fin will have some solid leads."

Olivia got up and crossed to her partner, who was slowly clenching and unclenching his fists. She put her hand on his shoulder and tried for a light tone of voice, "Hey, things ought to be wrapped up soon. If this killer is trying to replicate your photos, he's only got one left." Elliot responded by kicking the cabinet, albeit with less force than his earlier outburst.

The captain frowned at her reminder of the ticking clock on the case, "Both of you, just be careful, all right? See you tomorrow."

BENSON RESIDENCE  
THURSDAY, JUNE 20TH  
5:45 A.M.

Olivia awoke to a persistent pounding on her front door. Rolling out of bed, she pulled a robe over her pajamas and groggily made her way out of the bedroom. She checked the peephole. Shit. Elliot. Her sleep-fogged mind cleared as she took in his distraught expression and she flung open the door. "El, what happened? More nightmares?"

As he crossed into the apartment, she turned to close and lock the door behind him. Turning back, she was shocked to be pinned against the door by his muscular frame. "Whoa, personal space! Elliot, what's wrong?"

He pressed in closer, grabbing her wrists in a bone-crushing grip. "There's absolutely nothing wrong here, as far as I can see," he replied silkily as his eyes raked up and down her cotton-clad frame. He leaned in and ran his tongue lightly along her jaw line before nipping at her earlobe.

"Stabler, what the HELL has gotten into you? Let me go." Olivia pushed against him, but his arms tightened further and his body pressed against her intimately. She was trapped. As he began slowly grinding his khaki-clad hardness against her, she struggled to get free.

"You'd better stop fighting me, if you know what's good for you." He stepped back and started pulling her into the living room, when her survival instinct kicked in. She battled him with each step. Stopping abruptly, he backhanded her across the face. "Shut up, bitch!" 

Olivia tasted blood and her eyes watered. "Please, El, talk to me. I can help y..." Another fierce blow knocked her back onto the couch and she smacked her head hard against the wooden end table. She saw stars.

"I told you to shut up. Now, we're gonna have a little fun, baby." He was on her in an instant, smacking her repeatedly and tying her hands tightly with the belt from her robe. He ran his hands roughly over her body and ripped her pajamas open. His eyes widened and he smiled. "Correction. We're going to have a LOT of fun." He grinned down at her and her heart shattered into a thousand pieces at this ultimate betrayal by her best friend. She looked up into the cold blue eyes and then, thankfully, blacked out.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

16TH PRECINCT  
THURSDAY, JUNE 20TH  
8:45 A.M.

Cragen closed the door firmly behind him and turned to face the three men who had just walked into his office. "You're kidding me, right?"

"I wish we were, Captain, but the information is right there," Munch replied, sinking into one of the chairs.

"This has to be a coincidence. Elliot wouldn't have..."

Fin cut the captain off, "Look, Cap, we don't want to believe this any more than you do, but like the man said – the info from Albany is right there. First thing I learned in the Academy is 'there are no coincidences.' Besides, you heard what happened with the nun at the hospital and the DNA and fingerprints back it up. We found our perp."

Cragen dropped heavily into his chair and rubbed his temples. His phone rang. "What?" he groused, then softened. "Oh, Elliot... No, not yet... Yeah, that's a good idea... No. Hurry. We think we got a break on Sacred Heart and the other cases, but we need you back here ASAP, got it? **NO.** We, um, we really need to talk about this in person, okay? Fine." He hung up the receiver and turned back to his team. "Elliot says he'll be in soon. I couldn't tell him on the phone. He should hear it in person..." Cragen trailed off, shaking his head. "I just can't believe he'd lie to us like this."

Dr. Huang pushed away from the wall and crossed the room to rest a hand on Cragen's shoulder. "I don't think he did lie, Don. How many psych evals have I given you guys? A lie like that would have shown up by now. The fact that we're all so blindsided by this indicates a VERY deep-seated repression. I want to be there when you talk to him, Don. If his walls have been up for this long, breaking through them may cause more problems."

"Terrific. We're tearing down walls today. I don't want to think about what kind of rubble we'll be left with," The captain sighed. "Fine, Huang, you're in. Munch, Fin, get back out there and see what else we can dig up until he gets here. And see if you can't get Benson in here too. She's not picking up her cell."

BENSON RESIDENCE  
9:15 A.M.

Elliot walked down the hall towards Olivia's apartment with a frown on his face. He'd been calling her cell for over an hour with no answer. Something had to be wrong – she answered that thing in the shower, for heaven's sake! No. Something was not right. His intuition proved correct as he approached the apartment and saw the front door partially ajar.

He quickly dialed the station. "Fin? Elliot. There's a problem at Olivia's. I'm going in but I'll need backup. Hurry." He drew his gun and quietly pushed the door open. "Olivia?" he softly called as he pushed the door open and crept in to the silent apartment.

He froze when he saw her. She was sprawled on the couch, bruised and bloody. Her hands were tightly bound above her head and the remains of a tank top and cotton pants were strewn around the couch. "Olivia!" he yelled as he lowered his gun and started to run towards her.

"Stop right there," a too-familiar voice commanded from behind him as the gun's barrel jammed into the base of his skull. "Good boy. Now drop your piece." The gun dropped to the floor with a loud clunk and Elliot slowly raised his open hands and turned around.

16TH PRECINCT

Huang was just re-entering the squad room when Munch and Fin sprinted past him. "Captain, what's going on?"

"Elliot just called from Olivia's. Told Fin that there was a problem and he needed backup. I think we both have a good idea what the problem is. I was just waiting for you – I have a feeling we're gonna need you. Let's go."

BENSON RESIDENCE  
9:20 A.M.

Olivia heard a loud clunk and slowly climbed back into consciousness from the blessed blackness that had engulfed her on and off throughout the morning. She cautiously peeked at the room through her thick black lashes before her eyes shot open and blinked several times.

It was like looking at a mirror. A matched pair of tall, muscular bodies clad in khakis and white shirts. They had short dark hair and beautiful piercing blue eyes that she knew so well. Those eyes... That's where the mirror shifted, changed. One set of blue eyes was full of fear and pain, brimming with shock and confusion. The other eyes were like ice – no sign of pain or life, just a dead hatred that would have been shocking in the familiar face, had she not looked into them pleadingly as he raped her over and over again all morning.

The cold gaze remained locked with the shocked one and he smiled. "About time you showed up, baby brother."

"About time you showed up, baby brother." With those seven words, Elliot's nightmare danced in his mind. _Screaming... blood... fear..._ Stunned, he stared at his own face and realized in horror that it was not a nightmare but a memory that tormented him each night. _There's blood, a lot of it. Mommy is yelling, crying, pleading...and then she stops. I find the box where he keeps the gun but before I can pick it up, it's taken from me. And then the shooting, and then more blood, splattering over us both, and then... nothing._ A strangled sob caught in his throat as the memories rushed back. "Don't cry, Elliot. Don't cry until I'm done with your girlfriend, here. Then you can cry for us both."

Hearing those words, Elliot's mind cleared and he fully realized what was happening. He suddenly remembered who exactly was holding him. "Leave her alone, Chris. Don't hurt her any more and we'll talk. We'll get through this, okay?"

"Why the hell would I do that? I know you're a cop – you'll have me back inside before we finish saying our hellos. You're a cop – now isn't that ironic?" Chris smirked. "You're gonna have fun explaining ME at the NYPD family picnic, huh?"

"Chris..." 

"Shut up! You shut the fuck up. Do NOT talk to me! This all your fault. All your fuckin' fault. You may not remember, but I do, so just shut up!"

Fin, Munch and Cragen were staged in the hallway outside of Olivia's apartment, guns drawn, when the screaming started. "Shut up! You shut the fuck up. Do NOT talk to me! This all your fault. All your fuckin' fault. You may not remember, but I do, so just shut up!" They looked at one another, Cragen nodded and they burst into the apartment.

"Freeze! Drop it. Drop it!" Fin and Munch swarmed Chris, disarming him and none-too-gently cuffing him.

Huang hurried in after them, crossing the apartment to untie Olivia. "Shh. You're going to be all right. It's okay." He helped her into her robe and led her out to a waiting medic squad. All the while, he spoke words of comfort and reassurance softly over her quiet sobs.

Cragen approached Elliot. "Are you all right? We have another bus downstairs if you need it."

"No, Captain. I'm not hurt... not physically. I... I just..." He stopped, his throat clogged with emotion, his eyes squinted against the tears that threatened. "Olivia..." he whispered as the dam broke. 

Cragen felt his detective's pain. He pulled him into an embrace, and let him cry. "She's okay, Elliot. She'll be fine."


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

16TH PRECINCT  
SUNDAY, JUNE 23RD  
9:00 A.M.

Cragen watched Olivia's eyes as she entered the deserted squad room. They widened slightly and shied away from the desk she shared with Elliot. There was a fear there that he never thought he'd see in his strong detective. He remembered his words to Huang just three days ago about tearing down walls. He sighed heavily. Rubble indeed.

He walked out to greet Olivia and guide her into one the interview rooms. "Thank you for coming in today, Liv. You didn't have to come back so soon. How's the head?"

She shrugged listlessly, looking at the floor. "Standard concussion. Doctor released me." She sat at the table across from Cragen. "I don't remember a lot. What I do remember... I... I don't want to." She looked up at him, her chocolate eyes eloquent with her fear, pain and confusion. "I just... I need to know what happened, and why."

He slid a fat manila folder across to her. "Here's the entire case file. I know you'll want to read it at some point, but I'll give you the short version. The man that did this to you is Chris Keller, also known as inmate 98K514 at the Oswald State Penitentiary – serving 88 years for felony murder, attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, you name it. A few months ago, he confessed to three unsolved slayings in New England somewhere. He was being transferred from Oz to New Hampshire to stand trial when he escaped. Manhunt lost him until he turned up here. My god, Liv, we were lucky. This guy's a serial killer. A true sociopath, a sexual predator, and a manipulative bastard. When I think of how easily we could have lost you...," Cragen looked away to hide the tears in his eyes.

"I... I don't understand. This Keller...I mean...it was Elliot. It was him, but it wasn't. And then there were two... I just, I'm confused, Don. How?"

The captain quickly controlled his emotions and steeled himself to share the hardest part of the story. "Thirty-six years ago, two uniforms came on scene at a frequent-flier domestic. They heard gunshots. Entered the apartment and found one Mary Ellen Keller, aged 25, deceased in the bedroom. She had been beaten, raped and stabbed repeatedly. Perp was the husband, John Christopher Keller, aged 29. He appeared to have been caught in the act, pants still down. COD was multiple gunshot wounds to the head. Blew his head half off." He paused and caught her eye. "Olivia, two minor children were found in the room. Christopher Keller and Elliot Keller – identical twins, just turned six. They... they were beaten and signs indicated long-term abuse... including sexual. The older boy was still holding the gun when the cops arrived.

They separated the boys. Christopher went to Spofford Juvenile Center, though it was still called Spofford Youth House then. There wasn't a lot of therapy or rehabilitation in those days. Just punishment. Between the family abuse, the institutional apathy and trying to survive the other juvenile inmates from such a young age, he was irreparably warped. His shrink from Oz, Sister Peter Marie, had been trying to work through his problems with him. She seems to think there's a biological aspect to his behavior as well as a sociological one. Records indicate the father was a psychopath – violent tendencies from a chemical imbalance or some such thing. Sister Pete says Keller showed indications of psychopathy AND sociopathy – he was a genetically twisted kid that got worse after exposure to the worst." He paused, gauging her reactions before continuing, "Sister Pete's sessions with Keller revealed a long-held resentment towards his younger brother. At first, Keller tried to protect him from the abuse, including the sexual stuff, so he ended up bearing the brunt of it all. The night the parents died, apparently the father was going for Elliot, determined to finally have him. Chris stepped in and both got a violent beating before the mom intervened."

He paused again, shaking his head. "Over the years, Keller's protective instinct soured and he began to blame his brother for, well, everything bad that had happened to him, starting with the rapes. And, of course, he blamed Sister Pete for dredging it all up. Sick bastard played some truly nasty mind games with her before his escape. And then took out his rage against her on the sisters at the Sacred Heart home. Well, that's the most of it..." Cragen trailed off.

"Oh, Captain." Olivia's voice broke. "Why didn't...he never told me. He never said one word."

"Liv, he didn't know, didn't remember," the captain sighed. "Christopher went to Spofford because he was the shooter. Elliot was an innocent victim, so they took him to Sacred Heart. The nuns gave him a lot of love and support. Six months later, he was adopted by an exceptional couple, Jack and Maureen Stabler. They brought him into a loving home where he had brothers and sisters, a strong faith and a true sense of protection for the first time in his young life. Because he was so young, he quickly assimilated into their family as though he'd always been there. Until this week, he didn't know he'd ever been anyone but Elliot Stabler. Huang said the early horrors were so deeply repressed that any stray memories bubbling to the surface felt like nothing more than terribly bad dreams."

"His nightmares! Oh, Elliot, no."

"Yeah. So, now you know everything. The files will be here if and when you feel ready to read them. Keller's back at Oz. Between the New England kills and his latest work here, he got an upgrade to death row accommodations. We don't need your full statement until you feel up to it – Keller's not going anywhere in the mean time. Elliot will be out for several months – mandatory leave – and is seeing a shrink. He's got a lot to deal with. I'd like you to do the same. Take some time off, talk to Huang or someone, whatever it takes to get through this. Whenever you are ready, your desk is waiting for you. And, Olivia? If you need to, call me. Call me or Munch or Fin. We're all here for you."

HUANG'S OFFICE  
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 27TH   
11:00 A.M.

"...I just want things to go back the way they were, you know? I need to get back to work, to do my job, but every time I show up there I feel like the whole room is waiting for me to fall apart, or freak out, or... or something. I hate it!" 

George nodded. "You feel powerless and resent your colleagues and friends for 'coddling' you. That's a perfectly natural reaction. As time goes on, they'll recognize that you are still as strong and capable as ever and they'll lighten up. In the mean time, let's talk about work. Are you off desk duty?" At the slight nod, he continued. "And how are you handling that aspect of things?"

"Not as well as I used to, I guess. The things we investigate, the stuff that used to stick to me and make me work that much harder to catch the bad guys... sometimes that's just overwhelming now. It pains me to admit it, but I guess I am more fragile. And that pisses me off!" A sigh escapes. "Most of all, though, I miss my best friend. I miss my partner and I miss my regular assignment. Don't get me wrong, Detective Davison is a great cop and a good guy, but it is so hard looking across the desk each day and seeing him sitting there instead of... God. It's been three months. I should be over this. I'm stronger than this. I just wish we could talk. Wish we could be Benson and Stabler again. Olivia and Elliot. Sharing a beer, laughing at an inside joke, mocking the way Fin and Munch fight like old married people. I wish I could get over this fear and just talk. It's too soon though. At this point, I don't think I'm ready and I don't want to push... Listen, I know you've seen us both, Doc, and I won't ask what you two talk about... but please... How is she?"

Huang looked into the tortured blue eyes and softly replied, "She's getting there, Elliot, but it's a long road to go. She started back at the 1-6 last week. Fin and John are watching out for her. So's the captain. She'll be all right with time, just like you will. And she misses you too, but you are right. It is too soon." Huang pressed his lips tightly together to compose himself. It wasn't totally professional to be this emotionally invested, but these were his friends – and they each had insisted that George was the only shrink they trusted enough to shrink them. It just made it harder to keep his cool, aloof psychiatrist mask in place. With a deep breath and a mental readjustment of the mask, he continued. "So, last time you mentioned that your nightmares were less frequent since we've been working through your memories. How have they been this week?"

HUANG'S OFFICE  
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 30TH  
2:00 P.M.

"Olivia, it's perfectly normal. A lot of people that have been through a highly traumatic emotional experience find it difficult to share their feelings and emotions. You shouldn't be embarrassed about it, and you shouldn't be afraid to share – with me in session or with any of your friends, if you need to. You know those guys would do anything for you if you ask," he smiled.

Olivia laughed at the absurd mental image of Munch, Fin and Cragen jumping to do her bidding. "I don't think that's necessary," she said before trailing off into an uncomfortable silence.

"Don't be afraid to laugh again, Olivia. Don't be scared to live again or feel happy, even for brief moments. You're allowed. In fact, it's important that you do. That means you are healing. Okay?" She nodded. "Good. Now, let's talk."

She took a deep breath and steeled herself to share her innermost fears. "Well, it has to do with my mother. From the first time I realized where I came from and how I was conceived, I was petrified that I'd end up like her. It's one of the reasons I became a police officer, definitely the reason I joined the SVU. I purposely face my worst fears every day in dealing with rapists and their victims. And every time I put one away, I win. I beat my fears. I wouldn't be a victim like my mother because I'm stronger. Well, I was stronger. Now... now, I'm just weak. Another victim. Another victim named Benson," she stopped and shook her head. "I... I don't want to talk about that any more today."

"It's okay," Huang responded, "we're making progress, so we can come back to it another day. What else would you like to talk about? I'm here to help you, so whatever you are most comfortable with."

"I... I guess we should talk about Elliot and me. George, we weren't just partners, we were best friends. Now I don't know where we stand. I mean, I can't picture his face without remembering. I know it wasn't him. I know this, but I still have this... this panic when I see a photo of us, or if I imagine his face or voice. Even though I know it was Keller who did this to me, in my mind, all I see is Elliot. I keep feeling the same shock and betrayal I felt then. I know it isn't Elliot's fault. But I'm... I'm afraid of him," she paused, choked up, her eyes brimming.

"Olivia, you were brutally violated. That alone takes a long time to get over. But, the fact that the perpetrator looked and sounded exactly like someone you've known and worked with for years, someone you trust with your life? Frankly, I'm impressed with how very well you are handling this."

"I just feel so useless and weak. I'm not able to do my job as well as before and I can't be there to help my best friend through the hardest thing he's ever had to face. Since we became partners, I've been there for Elliot. No matter what happened, at work or in his personal life, I was there to support him – just like he's been there for me. Now, I'm torn between needing to be there for him, needing him here for me and being stone-petrified of seeing him and reliving it all. It isn't his fault he looks exactly like the man that did this to me, but I still can't... I can't face him. George, I don't want to lose him, but I think he's already lost to me," she broke off, sobbing quietly.

Huang kicked his professional demeanor to the curb and gathered his crying friend gently in his arms., whispering, "Shhh... shhh... it's okay, Olivia. That's enough for today. You're doing wonderful, and I promise that things will get better. I promise."


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

STABLER RESIDENCE  
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 21ST  
10:45 A.M.

Elliot sat alone in his darkened living room, staring absently at the sad little tree on the table. Captain Cragen had brought it by on his last visit, insisting that Elliot needed to have some cheer in his life during the holiday season, but it only served to remind Elliot of all he'd lost. Since June, he'd traded his horrible nightmares for a living hell. Sessions with Huang helped, as did getting back on the job. Still, he kept running up against this giant void in his life where his best friend used to be. He sighed and reached for the longneck sitting on the end table. It was too early to be on his third beer, but he just didn't give a damn any longer.

A timid knock on his front door jarred him out of his reverie. He got up, crossed to the door and looked through the peephole to see an empty hallway. He threw open the door. No one. He was turning back towards the promise of liquid oblivion when he spied a gaily-wrapped package resting in front of his door. He picked it up and noted the gift tag: 'To Elliot, with love. Olivia.' He stared for a moment at the familiar cursive with tears in his eyes, then realized with a start who had knocked on his door. He ran down the stairs toward the building's exit.

"Olivia? Olivia!" He crashed through the doors and out into the frigid New York winter. He quickly scanned up and down the street for her shiny dark hair and familiar form. Nothing. He looked down at the beautiful present still clutched in his hands and hugged it tightly against him, quietly saying, "Merry Christmas, Olivia. I miss you." A cold gust of wind blew against him, reminding him that he was standing on his stoop barefoot, wearing nothing but sweat pants and a wife-beater. With a final sigh, he turned and slowly trudged back into the apartment, alone.

From her hiding place in the building's lobby, Olivia watched him with tear-filled eyes. As he climbed up to his apartment, she answered, "Merry Christmas, El. I miss you, too," and headed out into the street.

NYPD NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY – O'MALLEY'S PUB  
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 31ST   
11:00 P.M.

Watching the beautiful, fragile woman being squired around the room by Munch, Cragen took a long drink of his club soda. Desperately wishing it were something stronger, he turned to Huang. "Are you sure this is a good idea, Doc? Olivia already looks like a frightened doe, ready to bolt. Do we really want to force this meeting on her?"

"Captain, I can't and won't talk about my sessions with either of them, but I will say this. They need to see one another and begin working things through. I've gone as far as I can in seeing them separately. Now, they are beginning to regress to a more damaged state. Elliot is turning to the bottle more and more often for solace, while Olivia... you can't tell me you don't see her shrinking more and more into herself each day. She's pulling away and shutting herself off from the world." Both men watched as Munch performed ever-more-ridiculous antics, only to be rewarded with the merest flash of a wan smile. It was very discouraging.

"Don, you know how close the two of them were. They were each other's emotional complement. How many times did she calm his worst rampages with a simple look or touch? How often did he ground her in the present and keep her from being sucked under by her all-encompassing empathy? They've each healed as much as they can on their own. They simply NEED one another to come back to where they were before...if such a comeback is even possible given all they've been through."

"I hope you are right, Doc. I hope you are right."

Fin paused outside of the pub, urging his reluctant companion on. "C'mon, man. It's been months since you've come to hang out with us. It's New Year's Eve! You can't be alone. Let's go."

"I... I can't, Fin. I'm just going to go..." He turned to leave and Fin grabbed his jacket.

"Oh, no you don't. Damn it, Stabler, we're your friends. Remember? You are going to spend New Year's with us. We miss you, all of us. Besides, it's captain's orders. Now get your skinny ass in here." With that, Fin spun him around and all but shoved him in the door.

Fin managed to get Elliot into the pub and as far as the bar. He left him there, with Huang as his companion so that he could check in with his partner and the rest of the squad. 

As the clock ticked down on the longest year of Elliot's life, he stared into his drink, studiously ignoring the shrink beside him. In the background, he heard the music and merriment of the holiday, but he was in no mood to celebrate. He threw back the last of his beer, ordering another with a nod to the bartender, and heaved a sigh.

"Elliot, I know you aren't here for a 'shrinking' tonight, but please consider the advice I'm going to give you. It's New Year's Eve, a powerful symbolic and literal ending and rebirth. If you ever hope to get over the trauma of the last year – from Kathy leaving to the whole Keller episode – this is the night to let it go and start fresh. Come on, the DJ wants everyone on the dance floor for the countdown. I'm going, and I urge you to come with me. You won't heal until you let it go. Tonight's the ideal time." 

Huang stood and moved towards the floor, gratified to see Elliot get up to follow him.

O'MALLEY'S PUB  
11:57 P.M.

Across the room, as Huang gave his advice to Elliot, Captain Cragen had autocratically claimed Olivia's hand for the last dance of the year, and led her from their table out onto the floor. "Olivia, you know we're all here for you, and we all care about you. I don't say it often, but I think of you all like my own family. It's killing me to see you like this. I know the past 6 months have been hell on earth for you, but I want you to know that I'll be here to support you, for as long as it takes, okay?"

Olivia allowed a ghost of a smile to haunt her pale face. She whispered, "Thank you," and pressed a quick kiss onto his cheek. 

"10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Happy New Year!" The room erupted into cheers and laughter and the strains of _Auld Lang Syne_ filled the air. Olivia was swept into a tight hug by Cragen, who released her into the waiting arms of Munch. Fin was next, giving her a hug with an extra squeeze, before releasing her to Huang, who had worked his way through the crowd to join them. He released her and turned her to the next well-wisher, who had just finished hugging the captain.

Elliot turned and froze, staring into the beautiful brown eyes of his partner, full of pain and fear. He took a half-step forward, then paused, uncertain.

Olivia stared at his face, the face that haunted her nightmares and highlighted her happy dreams. Looking into his tortured blue eyes, her heart caught up with her mind and knew for certain that this was not the man who hurt her. Their faces may have been mirror-identical, but their eyes starkly displayed the truth. They were nothing alike. This man only loved her, as a partner, as a friend, perhaps even as more, someday. She closed the gap between them and reached her hand up to cup his stubbled cheek, "Happy New Year, Elliot."

He watched the pain and fear melt from her eyes and his heart lightened at her soft touch. He pulled her into a tight embrace, holding on to her as though she were his life preserver in a flood. Tears pricked his eyes as he dropped a quick kiss onto her forehead, "Happy New Year, Olivia. Here's to a new beginning."

**FIN**

A/N: If you haven't figured it out yet, this was a crossover with OZ. I've read OZ/SVU crossovers before, usually involving Beecher and Stabler. My evil little muse wanted to know what would happen if Keller showed up in the SVU world. For those unfamiliar with OZ, Chris Keller aka Prisoner 98K514 is a psychopathic serial killer and sexual predator played by... Christopher Meloni! I hope my little backstory nicely explains the "wtf?" factor involved in having two Meloni characters running around the same verse. BTW, in my little world, George Huang does NOT have an identical twin brother named Father Ray Mukada (both played by B.D. Wong). That would be a bit too much, don'tcha think? )

Disclaimer, part deux: Chris Keller, Sister Peter Marie and Father Ray Mukada all belong to Tom Fontana and the lovely folks over at HBO, not me. pout


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